Why You Keep Self-Sabotaging Your Business (Even When You Know Better)
AKA: Why you keep ghosting your offers, changing your niche, and restarting your Canva from scratch at 11pm—and how to actually stop.
Let’s rip the band aid off once and for all…
You are not dumb.
You are not clueless.
And you certainly DO NOT need to spend another $5K on another guru coach.If you’ve ever thought to yourself…
“Why do I keep sabotaging things just when they’re starting to work?”
This post is going to be like a warm hug and good old kick in the back side - all wrapped into one (with a side of love).You’re about to learn:
The sneaky ways self-sabotage shows up (especially in soul-led businesses)
Why it’s not your fault (but it is your responsibility to change it)
What your nervous system and subconscious have to do with all this?
How to stop abandoning your own gifts and talents and actually follow through
First-Let’s Redefine Self-Sabotage (because we do it differently around here)
In my world, we don’t use “self-sabotage” because it technically is shaming to ourselves.
We call it what it really is:
The Sub-Soma Feedback Loop
It’s your subconscious mind + your body saying,
“Last time we showed up boldly, something bad happened. Let’s not do that again.”
This is not mindset fluff. It’s a physiological pattern.
It’s your nervous system looping back to what feels safe, even if that “safe” is actually keeping you stuck.
Here are 5 of the most common sabotage patterns I see in women just like you (and how together we unravel them).
1. You Keep Moving the Goalposts
One week you're coaching overwhelmed moms.
Next week you're helping burnt-out healers in biz.
By Friday, you're stuck in Canva for 5 hours designing branding for another mystery offer you have waiting in the wings…without even giving the existing one a chance to breath yet.
Reality bites: You’re actually scared of being seen in your zone of genius.
It’s safer to jump ship than risk being fully seen in what you actually want to be known for.
The Fix = Commitment creates clarity.
Pick a lane. Stay in it for 30 days.
Not because it’s “the perfect niche”… but because your nervous system needs to start feeling safe with consistency.
Why 30 Days - you ask?
Well 30 days isn’t some random spiritual number I pulled from my tarot deck. It’s actually the sweet spot between safety and stretch.
Here’s why:
It’s Long Enough To:
Build trust with your audience. They need repetition to believe you’re serious instead of shouting “squirrel” and onto your next thing.. again.
Give your nervous system time to adapt. If you’ve been in a loop of starting and stopping, your body needs space to learn that it’s safe to stick with something.
See actual data. You can’t judge an offer, niche, or message after 3 Instagram posts. Thirty days gives you content, conversations, and clarity.
But It’s Also Short Enough To:
Avoid overwhelm. Committing to forever triggers the flight response for most women I work with.
Feel doable. Thirty days feels like a challenge, not a life sentence.
Create momentum. Small wins compound when repeated over 4 weeks.
2. You Ghost Your Own Offers
You poured your heart into an offer last month.
You were obsessed. Lit up. You even did the launch emails for it.
But now?
Tumbleweeds. Crickets. It’s gathering dust while you chase another angel number or divine download from the universe.
Here’s the truth:
Spiritual downloads are great but that alone is not a business strategy.
And being multi-passionate doesn’t mean abandoning everything halfway through.
The Fix: Show up for your offers like you want others to show up for yours.
Would you invest in someone who’s already got their foot half way out the door? Nope.
Nervous System Note: Your body might associate follow-through with pressure, burnout, or rejection. We heal that. That’s what we do in my subconscious work.
3. You’re Addicted to Burning it Down and Starting Over
You get high off the start. It’s like dating someone new… its fresh, exciting…
New offer? Dopamine.
Fresh branding? Serotonin.
Big launch idea that lasts 3 days before you scrap it and start again? Yup.
But you never ride the wave long enough to reach the part where your work actually lands.
You know that moment where it’s quiet? Where it’s repetitive? Where you can see what works and what doesn’t. Because…
That’s where the magic happens.
And your nervous system panics because it feels… boring.
This will be especially true if you come from a family that has always lived in chaos. So you naturally feel safer in chaos too!
4. You’re Not Being Authentically You (Even If You Think You Are)
You’ve done all the courses, workshops, hired coaches…
You’ve got 17 notebooks full of frameworks and tips and tricks…
You’re repeating what you learned from the “six-figure strategy queen” with the fancy instagram and her Channel shopping bag…
.…but your content sounds like a cardboard cut-out of every other coach online.And it’s not landing. Because it’s not you.
The Fix: Do the inner work so your outer voice can be YOURS.
This is where we look at subconscious beliefs around being "too much," fear of being disliked, or not knowing who you are without all the noise.
Exercise: Try writing a post like you're talking to your best mate after a glass of wine. That's usually where your real voice lives. What are you picking? Mine’s an oaky chardonnay thanks.
5. You Downplay Your Wins (or Avoid Celebrating Them at All)
You land a new client.
Your first thought? “What if they don’t like me?”
You finish a launch.
Your first move? Looking at who didn’t buy.
You’re afraid to celebrate because you're terrified the other shoe will drop.
Sound familiar?
It’s time to celebrate loudly, on purpose, and often.
Your nervous system needs repetition and proof that GOOD THINGS are safe.
When you celebrate, you teach your body and subconscious mind that joy doesn’t come with punishment.
So... What’s Really Going On?
Most sabotage isn’t about discipline.
It’s not even about your mindset.
It’s about your body remembering moments-childhood, school, that time in corporate, even ancestral memory-where showing up fully led to:
Rejection
Embarrassment
Failure
Punishment
Abandonment
Your current patterns are protective strategies.
You’re not crap at what you do. Far from it… in fact, you are brilliant. Your body’s just trying to keep you safe.The goal isn’t to force your way through it.
It’s to create a new internal reality where success, visibility, money and momentum feel SAFE.
That’s the work I do with my clients.That’s the power of nervous system business coaching + subconscious healing.
How to Start Rewiring Today: The "RESET" Framework
Here’s a mini tool you can use right now to start shifting out of sabotage and into safety.
R – Recognize the Pattern.
Name it when you see it. “Ahh, I’m doing it again. This feels familiar.” Don’t shame yourself. Just notice.
E – Explore the Origin.
Where did this response come from? A past launch flop? A parent who punished your success? A deep fear of being seen?
S – Safety First.
Take 2 minutes to breathe. Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly. Remind your body: “I am safe to be here. I am safe to succeed in my business”.
E – Embody the New Story.
What’s the opposite of the sabotage? Is it showing up anyway? Is it launching the offer again? Is it recording the damn reel even if your hair isn’t perfect.
T – Take One Aligned Action.
Just one. Not five. Not an entire week’s’ worth. One. Momentum builds from small steps repeated often.
You’re Not Really Flaky. You’re Healing.
Here’s the mic-drop:
You’ve never lacked strategy.
You’ve lacked safety.
All the funnels, content plans and Canva templates in the world won’t work if your body is screaming “Nope!”
Let this be the year you stop abandoning it all.
Let this be the season where you show up-not perfectly-but consistently.
Not because you’ve cracked the code… but because you’re finally healing the parts of you that thought you weren’t worthy of winning.
Feeling this?
Want help applying this to your business in real time?
Drop me a “RESET” on Instagram or DM and I’ll send you a nervous-system friendly exercise to shift the exact pattern you’re in.Because strategy is only half the story in your business-your body has to be on board, too.
PS: If you're ready to stop looping and start leading, I’ve got a few 1:1 spots open. (can you put my Instagram link here)I blend subconscious work, somatic healing, and spiritual business strategy that actually feels good.
No fluff. No funnels. Just freedom.
DM “READY” if you’re done burning down your business every 3 weeks and want support that actually gets you.
